Been thinking so much about Mr Flash. However I think I am getting over him as many of the scenarios he asking me back and I just say no. I think thats a pretty positive step.

Just read Tat's blog and that girl and me and so many similar feelings. But I have to remind everyone that no matter how down you get there is always someone willing to listen, even if they can't help. I learned this the hard way. I started self-harming when I was getting bullied at my old job. I was made to feel as if I couldn't talk to anyone so took it out on myself. Prior to this I'd suffered bullying in school and had to deal with my mum's depression and alcohol abuse and her consequent physical abuse of me. All this led to me trying to take my own life when I was 14 through a paracetamol overdose.

I have learnt the hard way that you need people you can trust and who you know will always be there for you. People often say you can count your true friends on one hand. I don't even need a hand, one finger will do. I have a ton of mates but the only one I can rely on 100% is Lauren. Without this girl it is more than likely I would have tried to take my life again last year. When she finally realised what I was doing to my self I had cuts and scars all up my arms. Thankfully the only ones that show now are right at the top, and I wear them almost as a badge of honour to prove to myself that I can get through even the darkest moments in my life.

Lauren convinced me to see my GP who put me forward for counselling. Thing is at that point I'd already started to heal inside. You would not believe the courage it took to tell someone that something was wrong. That push was all I needed to mend myself. And ok I have done it a couple of times since but now I know if I'm on the verge I can ring Lauren and even if she is fast asleep she will sit with me until I'm strong enough to be left on my own.

People might read this and figure 'well it's ok for her she's got a friend to talk to I haven't', well I didn't think I did at the time. You just need to take that step (and I admit it's a big one)and tell someone you're feeling down, even if it's anonymously through a blog like this.

xxxx