Last night I realised that Mr Flash wasn't doing my head in because I still loved him it was just because I needed a bit of closure. I needed that definite, explicit moment for one of us to say thats it. And it came last night.

I'd text him Friday to see if he wanted to go for a drink but just as he had got back to me the boyfriend was picking me up so I chatted for all of 2 mins and said goodbye. We text a couple of times on Sat and then he called me Sunday evening. It was an odd phonecall. It was like I knew he wanted to say something I just wasn't sure what it was. Anyways, we got chatting and it was as if everything started making sense. He asked me about the boyfriend. At first I played our relationship down as part of me still wondered if me and Mr Flash would get back together but as I spoke I realised more and more that Mr Flash had looked down on me due to the escorting, the cuts and my age. 'Well you are 10 years younger'. Yeah I might be mate but I act a hell of alot older than you!

There was no name-calling or shouting and finally i said to him that there was no way I would be able to get with him as I didn't trust him. Ok maybe a little hypocritical coming from a girl who is hiding from her boyfriend that she is an escort. But this gave me closure and for the first time since I met that man I don't want to speak to him. I don't want to be touched by him. And the best bit....? I'm happy about it. It really feels like a big weight has been taken off my shoulders.

And as for the boyfriend? Well things are going fantastic. This weekend we really relaxed around each other and everything from talking with each other, me talking to his mates, even the sex was a million times better. He sent me the cheesiest text this morning but I loved it. Us girls, and me in particular, love a bit of romance and when it comes unexpectedly at 7.30am it just puts a smile on your face for the rest of the day.

He might not be 'the one' right now but he's good for me and you never know he might be 'the one' in the future. For now Im happy being happy.