I want to break up with the boyf. i'm not happy. I thought I was but I'm not. The more I think about it the more I want to get away. I've been looking at my past blogs and it's almost as if im just too eager for things to work out. I know how I feel now and i know what I want. I want lots more free time to myself and I want to see Mr Flash more often. Which whilst never certain - i'm happy for it to be an occasional thing, rather than a proper relationship. I like flirting. I actually quite enjoy sleeping around (safely!). I don't want to be tied in.
Lets just see how things pan out tho.
As for the boyf, I've left it that we are going to see less of each other and we'll see what happens. He's re-iterated that he's falling for me. That is what is making me feel so bad. I don't want to hurt him but it's going to happen. Last time when I thought I might lose him I was really upset. I don't think it was really because I might lose him but more because i'd been caught out. Atleast if I'm not with him I cant be caught out. Mr Flash knows exactly what I do and accepts it.
I 'llbreak things off with the boy but gently. He's an innocent in my life of sin. I want to reduce the amount of hurt I cause him.
xxxxxx
2008-05-17 @ 18:02