Morning all

Last night I was suffering from the washing machine affect as Lauren puts it. Loads of thoughts going round and round and just not stopping. By the end of it you end up feeling a bit dizzy. Anyways it meant that at around midnight I ended up logging on to msn and facebook just to see if anyone was up and as it happenned there were two blasts from the past online.

The first was a girl called Tigger - I know odd name but it was a nickname from way back, no idea how she got it and from the way she reacted when I called her it I doubt she's been called it in years lol. Anyway the good thing about Tigger - apart from catching up was the fact that I got to talk to her - really talk to her. Tig sufferred from Anorexia and self harming for 6 years. Ok I haven't done it since feb but I still think about it and stuff still gets me down way more than it should, so it was good to speak to someone who had been through it had moved on. It's been 3 1/2 years since she last self harmed and she looks amazing. My scars are still fading but I hope one day i can say that I have finally put it behind me.

The othe blast from the past was AB. AB was a 6' gorgeous blonde hunk who I dated for a few weeks last year. Like most of my relationships it had been a bit of a whirlwind but we both had personal issues and things fell apart. We kept in touch though and met up every so often but nothing ever really came of it. Then I went through a faze right after my initial affair with Mr Flash where I was determined to settle down and have a long term meaningful relationship. AB didn't want that and so we gave up on seeing each other.

Last night though, I made it quite clear to him that a) I wasn't seeing anyone (Mr Flash doesn't count as I don't see him often enough) and b) I had no intention f getting into a long term relationship (mainly because I'm terrible at them). It worked and he's coming over tonight. The great thing about AB was that when I agreed he should come over his response was 'what time? what wine would you like and what type of chocolate should I bring?' and he's 6', blonde, muscular with a tatoo and keeps out of trouble. Ok he doesn't have his own house or a car but who cares when you have a body like his to wrap your legs round ha ha!!

xxxx